excitements.

hehe it's really been a long time that i blogged! oh well no one is even reading my blog anyways. im just talk to myself as usual.

anyways talking about excitements, it excites me already. HAHA! went to SMTOWN SG with my clique ♥ hehe overall it was great because i actually met quite a number of people! :) but it's kind of saddening that i didnt manage to meet alot of tlist.. :( i dont know how the other tlist can get super close with each other and they even have each other's phone numbers omg. i feel left out always for this same reason over and over again. sigh i really want to know more people :/ met 3 elf that have the same age as me but looking at them they're not those really hardcore ones like me and other tlist that i didnt get to meet :( sobbing next time if there's any fan events i really hope to go with tlist people!! but somehow i feel like im annoying them oops. but please be kind and we can be good friends :D gahh really hope to know more tlist even better! its like im a casual to everyone;;

oh yes excitement. smtown sg was overall not that bad heheh but for me i would really have gone to moshpit! also mainly because some of them cant afford that price. but as a hardcore fan i will really go moshpit no matter how long the concert is.

its my second time of the year and the second time of my life that im seeing superjunior!! ♥ I WAS SO EXCITED BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE THEM AGAIN :'D hehe to my clique it's their first time but I still get hyper whenever i see my favourite oppars :) and for the first time im seeing DBSK. I SWEAR HOMIN IS DAMN SMEXY PLEASE. SHINee was damn awesome too! AND EXO!!! also, SNSD, f(x), BoA and Kangta! I like every SM artists but if I have to choose I will get superjunior and dongbangshinki heh.

1h before concert rain started to pour. although it's like a troublesome matter for us, but just to see our oppars, IM WILLING TO DO ANYTHING. ((exaggeration over here)) hehe and then during concert it kind of started to rain when f(x) performed electric shock (i think i forgot), then the rain got heavier during SFS, and the rain was like the worst during catch me. alot people started to seek for shelter but I remained there despite there's lightning and thunder. come on, even the artists are performing on stage under this kind of weather, and they have to dance and sing, and cannot fall. they can even do it in the rain, so why not us? shame on those who left. although some of them slipped, they always tried their best to give their fans the best performances ever. yes im proud of the SM family.

also, i managed to sneak camera into the concert! hehe the bag check security was funny! "where's your big camera?" i said "oh i didn't bring" and smiled. i really wanted to say 'but i brought my small camera :)' and give them the smile. HAHAHA. i didn't expect that there is rarely any staff catching cameras! unlike SS4 SG where the people are catching cameras literally everywhere and from what i know one ELF got chased out. i pity that person.. so i actually took fancams! :) although im far from the stage, my digital camera also can hardly zoom in until can see very clearly the real artist on stage. sobs i don't have a DSLR oh well. financial problems i guess? but anyways, im kind of satisfied already.

MAMA 2012 was yesterday, AND YES WE GOT DAESANG TWO YEARS IN A ROW. IM PROUD OF THEM :') i was literally screaming at home. and literally got tweetjailed yesterday. achievement unlocked. jailed 8 times a day. MY NEW RECORD HEHEHE YAY :)

i guess i wont be like spazzing so much on this blog oops. xx

aftermath.

huibao's over and im pretty sure i didnt do well. i still have horrible stage frights when there's a solo. i tried my best not to be worried about the audiences and just be engaged in my own musi but apparently i can't. my fingers kind of froze during some parts so basically the song was stopped for like half a second to one second.

not once, but thrice. sigh i know myself well that i have to improve on this but its just that i cant do it. i dont feel any confidence in me. sometimes i mau even look up at the audience when playing which kind of distracts me. but... i just cant stop it.

its really horrible to be having this habit of looking around no matter how serious the situation is. i just cant help it. i will be really grateful if anyone can help.. pretty please?

i always feel the stress coming onto me and the amount is overloaded. i just have this mindset that the only thing i can do is perform perfectly. that's all. im scared that i will let others down especially the teachers and the seniors.

of course nobody likes to be criticized and will like positive feedbacks. teachers and seniors are there to help us, and that is why im afraid of not able to reach their expected standard for me. especially seniors i always remember their words and i can never forget... once i was depressed for the whole week and did not feel like talking to anyone. i just felt that i rather be left alone...

really wanting to be a better performer, and of course, be myself.

The one and only...

so basically the education branch announced that it will be changed to SYC...

this actually meant that i will not be participating in SYF anymore. It's SYC now :o the one and only SYF had was when i was p5 and it became memorable. 22 April 2011. being the chairperson i had to arrange everythjng for them but i have no regrets. It was great.

Furthermore I was the soloist for my school and had many solo parts! I was really happy that I have the chance to solo but I was really nervous. especially for the choice piece I had like alot of solo parts! And also my stage-fright is just HORRIBLE. even during practice im like trembling, worrying that i cannot play it perfectly. But hard work paid off and there was no mistakes. And I got praised by one of the judges. OMG I WAS REALLY REALLY HAPPY FOR THIS. I initially thought that he was just a random person passing by asking for directions...

Since I used both ruan and pipa, it was so weird that I still had the zhijia on my fingers holding on to the pick to play the zhongrua LOL. this was the part that i remembered the most xD

Oh well, at least I got the chance to participate in SYF once! really grateful to the conductor and the teachers that had given me the chance to solo when the part was actually liuqin's but no liuqin player could play :o

and also a great thank you to the orchestra and especially the few of my batchmates that helped me in organising stuffs! :)

Showcase

:O Showcase is tmrw! 😱 I'm really nervous. Literally scaring myself the whole day.

Furthermore it will be my first performance of the year which adds up more stress. And I'm like the first emcee.. And again it's my first time emcee-ing for the year! wow it's really an important day.

Practiced hard for this showcase for about a week and especially yesterday and today practically practiced 5h each day. It's seems long but that helped me to kill time during the holidays since I'm like soooooo bored.

Hope that my hardwork will pay off and I will be satisfied with my performance! Really worried that I will play too slow or too fast at different parts. Also, not to press any wrong notes! In other words, MAKE IT PERFECT AND NO MISTAKE.

Hope that it will be satisfying!

what is done is done. I shall strive for tomorrow! ✌

Preparation

it's tmrw! :O

I start to become so nervous and am literally scaring myself at home. My hands are even trembling already. Sigh im just so nervous that I can't play well after getting feedbacks from my teacher. It's either some parts i play too fast while some parts too slow. sigh what happened to me.

I wasn't like this and realised that my skills are getting worse instead of improving...

anyways, practiced a little while this morning and I should mug the whole afternoon! hope that my fingers will not bring me pain for tomorrow.

D-1 from now. jiayous everyone!

I'm actually okay for being the emcee but sigh this 4min solo is literally scaring me. and yeah everyone will be watching x.x

ANYWAYS, MUG MUSIC TODAY AND ALL THE BEST FOR TMRW! :)

life goes on.

Hi so basically im back to blogging. every since i realised my blog was read by some people i've decided to stop. they found out some truths, and because of that stuff just happens. oh well, like i said,
life goes on.

so yeah after reading someone-that-i-know's blog, actually more of stalking on twitter and found out her blog site, i realized that there's actually quite alot to think about in life. no matter what it is, academics, CCA, or life. Yes it's just anything. I can't describe it. there's too much to say. I have alot to say, but I guess time is not helping me, so I hope that I can write my thoughts out as much as I could.

oh well, my first post on my new blog.

hope that i can really post anything i want on this blog ^_^ since there's just some things that i won't say it out.